pieces framed

Back in Oct I took a few small things to a frame shop to get them framed as a group. It's a remembrance collection of my mother. There was a writing, a picture, a crocheted pansy, and a small drawn design. I haven't tried to look up the writing on the web to see if she authored it, but it's in her handwriting. She had it framed. The picture shows her in front of her labyrinth garden before her illness started, so as I remember her. The other items also represent elements of her interests and life. When the sun comes out again I'll try to take a picture of it. Camera flash will reflect off the glass front.

It was ready to be picked up about two weeks ago, but they didn't do such a good job with the mounting, so I had them fix it and it was ready again last week.

Over the weekend my wife injured her leg, so yesterday I stayed home to be available for her and went to the frame shop and picked it up. I wasn't in a big hurry to pick it up because it's more reminders of her death.

I've been thinking about that and the follow ons lately after my father's indication that he didn't want the stepping stone he suggested I make as a "permanent" marking in her garden. Yes, his communication is indirect like that.

I didn't communicate with her very much because he read her mail and email and filtered it. I wasn't comfortable (?) with that. I haven't had any direct communication with him for many years, so now I have none at all. On his side of the "family" there is one cousin that I have had some contact with, but not much. I haven't wanted to deal with that since the summer either, though she has sent a couple emails. In addition, in the aftermath emails, it is clear that I'll not have any more contact with my sisters, so her death has been very isolating. She was the tie that kept some measure of connection between us. (I have a brother who lives in the southeast somewhere.)

On my mother's side, there was some talk with my aunts when I was there that it would be good if we three visited with them more. That's something we didn't do because of the physical distance as well as the emotional distance created by my father. The problem with visiting them is that they have their own, very busy, lives. I haven't had any contact with them since the aftermath emails, so I don't think anything is going to come of that. When there, I suggested getting together for Thanksgiving, but since the aftermath emails, I haven't heard anything from them. I'm planning to send an email to them this week, just to say Thanksgiving.

The "aftermath emails" are the ones where my father told us about his attitude toward my mother in light of her fear for her safety while they were married. He calls it infidelity. Others, like me, think of it as self preservation and that they should have divorced years ago.